


Low Down Dirty Deceiver

by Ladytalon



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-08
Updated: 2010-06-08
Packaged: 2017-10-10 00:06:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/93031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladytalon/pseuds/Ladytalon





	Low Down Dirty Deceiver

  


  


  
  
  
**Title:** Low Down Dirty Deceiver  
**Author:** [](http://ladytalon1.livejournal.com/profile)[**ladytalon1**](http://ladytalon1.livejournal.com/)  
**Fandom:** Firefly  
**Pairing:** Jayne/Kaylee  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine, not making any $$  
**Word Count:** 2,467

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** Low Down Dirty Deceiver**   
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"What do I get if'n I win?" Jayne demanded, leanin' over the table with that devil gleam in them blue eyes of his. I seen plenty of women fall for that look, and more than a few men if I were tellin' the truth.

I leaned right over the table in his face, showin' I weren't gonna be taken in by his tricksome _swai_ self. "You'll get me in _your_ bunk."

"Nekkid," Jayne insisted stubbornly, lickin' his lips like the prize was already his.

Nodding, I grinned at his look of satisfaction – if'n he thought I was actually gonna let him have a fightin' chance….well, he had another thing to learn about bein' a low-down dirty deceiver. Jayne heaved hisself to his feet and strutted off like a rooster in a henhouse while I shook my head at his departin' back an' fixed my eyes on the _pigu_ I'd be seein' without no clothes soon enough. I was gonna win that wager if'n it killed me.

It'd started as a joke over a game of Tall Card when I'd just brought out a jug of engine wine an' Simon was off makin' sure River didn't rub no more soup in her hair. Jayne was half lit already from the sake he'd been drinkin' like water, and before I knew it, we was makin' a bet that said whoever got ta 'first base' with one of the miners at Boros would get a special treat once we was in the black again… if'n I won, Jayne had to spend a whole day down in my bunk, bare as the day he was born. 'Course if'n _he_ won, I'd hafta do the same… but I weren't plannin' on lettin' that man get anywhere close to winnin'.

In typical Jayne fashion, he weren't thinkin' about where it was we were landin', either – Boros is known for havin' a mess of Purplebellies crawlin' every which way and a man big an' lively as Jayne's bound to get noticed right smart. So he was walkin' off to his bunk to make a mess of it, most like, so I'd hafta clean it up while he watched the show… Jayne's _swai_ as hell an' a real sweetheart if'n you catch him when he ain't lookin' but sometimes the workin's twixt that man's ears get stuck somethin' fierce. He ain't the only one who can be sneaky.

When we landed and were gettin' the Mule ready, the big man came swaggerin' up. "I got a lotta things need fixin' in that bunk of mine, Kaylee," Jayne grinned. "Sure'll be sweet watchin' ya work on all that 'thout no clothes on."

I opened my mouth to sass him back, but the captain beat me to it. "You'd best be keepin' a civil tongue in that mouth if you don't wanna be losin' it," Mal suggested. Jayne huffed somethin' and hopped up to drop some ammo in the rear hatch. "Now, we're stoppin' by the scrap yard for Kaylee's spare parts and then Zoe and me'll go drop off our client's percentage, _dong ma? _"

Jayne shot upright so fast, he nearly fell off the Mule. "And me too, I'm goin' too," he insisted.

"Cap'n probably thinks you'll cause a ruckus, what with all them whores just driftin' around where they'll make the drop," I said with all the sweetness I could muster. "Looks like you'll be escortin' me back from the scrap yard."  
And this was about the time the big man cottoned onto my cunnin' plan; you coulda practically seen smoke pourin' out that man's ears as he tried to think up a way out of it.

"But…that…that ain't…" Lord love him, he'd never thought I'd cheat.

Mal looked back and forth between us, not quite knowin' what to think. "Somethin' goin' on that I should know about?"

I smiled big, just thinkin' of that _zhuang he shuai_ man struttin' his stuff all bare-assed. "Nope, don't conjure there is, Cap'n." Jumpin' up on the Mule, I settled down beside Jayne an' smiled at Zoe as she hopped into the driver's seat. Mal gave both of us a look before he got on too, just like we was kids or somethin', and Jayne's grumblin' nearly made me laugh myself sick as he shoved his sunglasses on his face and sulked the whole way to the scrap yard.

Once we got dropped off an' Jayne wandered off to look at some of the colorful graffiti sprayed on the beat-up hull of an old 386 Daison transport, I went to the main office to see if'n ol' Terry was on duty – he knew the place like it was the back a' his hand and could tell me if'n they had the spare compressor coil Serenity was needin'. He was, an' they did, but I'd be humped if his daughter weren't there too. I needed to keep _her_ outta Jayne's line of sight if'n I was gonna hang onto my advantage – there was just no way I was gonna strip down an' let that man look his fill. Well, maybe not afore I got in some oglin' of my own.

"You're not going to look around some before you leave, my dear?" he asked. Terry had a way of talkin' that was always so proper, an' it always made me smile to hear that fancified speech comin' out from someone who looked like he'd never been on the right side of a shower stall in his life. "I have some wonderful new-"

"'Fraid not this time," I said, eyein' his daughter to make sure she wouldn't look up from applyin' her makeup an' think she needed ta follow us out. Last thing I needed was to lose out on that bet when I was so close…

Jayne ambled back over with a scowl on his face, and he opened his mouth to ask somethin' when he stopped to stare at the shop. "Lady Luck's just smilin' her gorram face off at me today," he grinned and I looked back over my shoulder to see Terry's daughter leanin' out the door of the shop, eyein' him up like he was a cut of beef an' she hadn't eaten in three weeks. "First thing I want ya to do is fix the lighting….you'll hafta reach real high up for that," Jayne snickered.

He went off to flirt some an' claim his kiss while I haggled a bit over the compressor coil, keepin' one eye on Jayne. Terry's daughter was leanin' towards him an' shootin' looks at me like I was meant to be jealous 'bout it...and truth to tell, I was a mite. Lookin' over at her I suddenly realized that with all that time she put into slatherin' Tien-knew-what onto her face, I had one last chance at winnin'. She was still starin' over at me while Jayne leaned down, so I brought one hand up to touch the side of my mouth like she had some of that red lipstick outta place… and sure enough, she pulled away from Jayne to bring out her lipstick tube an' put more on.

She had no idea that Jayne don't really like kissin' on the mouth 'cause of the same "Goodnight Kiss" Saffron used on Mal, so I prob'ly coulda knocked her on her _pigu_ with a downy feather when she raised herself up for a kiss an' Jayne shied away like a skittish colt. Well, I guessed it was time for me to win fair an' square so strolled on over to plant one right on her lips afore she had a chance to even blink. "I win."

Jayne's eyes were bigger'n saucers. "Whuh…?" His lips moved real silent-like as he tried figurin' out just how it was that he'd lost, so I paid real quick and we was walkin' back to Serenity afore Jayne finally realized he'd hafta get nekkid. "That back there was cheatin', Kaywinnit Lee Frye," he said sternly, like it'd make a difference somehow if'n he used my whole name. "I got half a mind ta tell Mal-"

"You ain't gonna do nothin' like that, ya big baby! And _I_ ain't gonna say a thing 'bout you claimin' to have half a mind," I laughed up at him. "Just you be thankful that I don't call River down to take a look at ya while you're playin' "Cleanin' Lady" with no clothes on."

"You're just the bittiest devil I ever did see," Jayne said, his tone real close to admirin'.

"Don't you know it," I teased back.

Once we all got back to the ship an' River was gigglin' her head off, I installed the new parts soon as Wash lifted us off Boros an' headed on down to my bunk. I called real loud for Jayne to come help me lift somethin' so's we wouldn't get no interruptions – we'd had ta skew the bet a mite 'cause weren't no way Cap'n would allow Jayne down in my bunk for a full day, so he was gonna spend a few hours here an' there, nekkid as a plucked goose. Jayne grumbled as he came down, but started to grin real wide soon as his boots hit the floor; he'd put up a good front 'bout wantin' to win, but anyone knows Jayne Cobb knows that man won't never pass up an opportunity to show off what his Momma an' Daddy gave 'im.

I settled back on a crate – I'd thought 'bout sittin' on the bed but that'd give the big man all sortsa naughty ideas – and watched as Jayne peeled off his shirt to uncover that muscled, powerful chest and those _arms_. Ever since he came aboard Serenity I'd been admirin' the way he was built, but lately he'd bulked up even more…tell you one thing, I weren't exactly cryin' over it. _Wuo de ma_, he looked fine. "What you want me to lift for ya?" he asked, tuggin' his boots off and shovin' 'em beneath the wall lav so they'd be outta the way.

"Oh, that was just so's Mal wouldn't get down here with us," I told him with a grin. "You're gonna be cleanin' my floor." Throwin' a rag at him and pointin' at a bucket of water I'd filled up, I waited 'til Jayne started to bend down with a sigh. "Nuh _uh_, you're kinda overdressed for the occasion, _dong ma? _"

The look on his face was worth every bit of trouble he'd cause me later in payback. "You mean, I actually gotta _do_ somethin'? C'mon, girl…"

"You'd best lose them pants _ma shong_ afore I call River down ta take 'em off ya!"

Jayne pulled his pants off so fast, he nearly left a smoke trail like them cartoons they play on the Cortex… an' I finally saw what he'd been hidin' from us this whole time. _Ai ya_. I stared in amazement an' Jayne grinned even wider. "Keep in mind it's kinda cold in here," he said, all kinds of proud of hisself. He certainly had a right to be proud of such a _da diao_.

He dropped to his knees an' started cleanin' the floor like it didn't matter none that he was swingin' free, so I just settled back to enjoy the show. In case you're wonderin', havin' a merc all bare-assed an' cleanin' your bunk is a gorram sight more entertainin' than watchin' porn. Just seein' them muscles ripple as he crawled around was more'n enough…inspiration…for me; it'd been a long while since I had company down in my bunk. Simon an' me had decided we was better off as friends since he needed to concentrate on helpin' River get better, and my eyes had wandered right on back to Jayne. He'd seemed like he'd be up for some play too, but I hadn't badgered him 'bout it.

I waited 'til he'd finished cleanin' – you'd never think it by lookin' at him, but Jayne don't mind keepin' things tidy – an' beckoned to him soon as he looked back up. "I got work for ya over here now."

Jayne grinned and came over on his hands an' knees to climb his way up on the crate over me. "This kinda work I could do more often – don't even need no coin from it," he murmured, pressin' close to nuzzle his face into my neck. I ran my hands over him as he started kissin' on me, and felt his _jiba_ nudge against my hip. "Wanted this for a long while, baby girl."

His hands slid under my shirt just as I heard what he said. "_What? _" I pushed him back so's I could look up into his face. "You ain't never said nothin', Jayne."

"Yeah, and where'd that get me if'n I said? Airlock, most like." He bent down to kiss me again. "'Sides, you was way too busy makin' cow eyes at Fancy Pants to give me the time a' day." Jayne's mouth came down over mine and _Tianna_, the man knew how to kiss. He picked me up an' dumped me on the bed, them big hands explorin' an' teasin' somethin' awful, and the hatch above us suddenly opened.

"Jayne! What'n _diyu_ are you still doin' down there in my mechanic's bunk?" Mal roared out, an' Jayne's head snapped up so quick he bashed his skull on some of the lights I keep hangin' above the bed.

"_Zaogao, aiya huaile!_" he rubbed the back of his head angrily. "I'm helpin' her with somethin'," Jayne roared back, lookin' mightily unhappy 'bout havin' our sexin' interrupted before it could really get started in the first place.

Mal started in on him about somethin' – them two were always goin' at it like two tomcats in a paper sack – so I figured we could finish our lovin' a little later. "You better go on, _wenshen_." Jayne looked so disappointed, it took at least ten quick kisses an' a squeeze or two to put the smile back on his face. "Guess you'll get a chance to see what I look like nekkid in yer bunk after all."

Jayne was already scramblin' back into his clothes so's Mal wouldn't come down an' find out he weren't helpin' me with nothin' but scratchin' an itch. "Yeah?"

"I got watch tonight – keep yer bunk hatch unlocked an' you might get a shiny reward for cleanin' later on." I winked and slapped his ass as he went past to climb up the ladder.

Mal started gettin' all captainy again soon's Jayne closed the hatch again, and I smiled as I dug through my clothes to find the laciest bits of next-to-nothin's that 'Nara had bought for me. My Ma an' Pa had always taught me to be a good girl, but I was learnin' that there were definite advantages to bein' a low down an' dirty deceiver.

  


~_fin_~  
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